Big Boys Don't Cry is a podcast in which Paddy Johnston and Rob Gordon discuss romantic films.
Just like the rest of the world, we’ve got Royal Wedding Fever, and what better way to scratch the itch than to watch a tacky made for TV movie about Meghan and Harry? We talk about Lifetime’s Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance and how it stacks up against its predecessor, William and Kate: The Movie, and also discuss gammon, Enya, the Air Bud Cinematic Universe, Lars von Trier, and geese. Happy Royal Wedding to you all!
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This week’s episode is a huge disaster! Not because we aren’t on our usual great form, but because we discuss James Cameron’s highly influential and lengthy disaster-romance, Titanic. We also discuss gardening, gnomes, incels, firm tofu, Vanilla Ice, Nickelback, pan pipes, the profound effect The Scorpion King had on impressionable teenage Paddy, and launch our campaign to provide #Justice4Fabrizio, the character who gets crushed by the ship in Titanic and whose poorly written characterisation needs addressing by James Cameron.
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Happy Birthday to us! We’ve been podcasting for a whole year, and to celebrate we watched the 1984 Prince vehicle Purple Rain. We also discuss local council elections, no-platforming, GG Allin, David Bowie, Chocolate Rain, the terrible nonsense of Morrissey and Kanye, and the majesty of Miami Connection.
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It’s an extra special week as, for the first time, one of us awards a film full marks! But which one of us gives the accolade to Alex Garland’s Ex Machina? Listen in to find out! We also discuss playing songs backwards to discover Satanic messages, the redemption of Michael Bay (Michael Bae?) and doing the right thing.
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We’ve somehow made it to 50 episodes, and what better way to celebrate than by watching something completely different to our usual fare and discussing the beautiful garbage that is Jupiter Ascending? Witness the majesty of this insane film as we take you on a journey through space and time, and discuss gammon, punching fascists, star signs and much more!
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David Harvey - A Brief History of Neoliberalism
Life Partners can come in many different forms. Like a podcast with two lovely dudes, or an enjoyable and underrated indie comedy film! We discuss the film in this episode, along with a highly effective alternative to the sugar tax, the new centrist party, Will Ferrell and wrestling in the House of Lords.
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This week we try to make Fetch happen as we watch the major pop cultural gem Mean Girls! We also discuss Easter chocolate, political correctness, Twitter outrage, whether film trailers are actually all bad, and return to our takedown of anti-intellectual intellectual Jordan Peterson. We also announce the much anticipated winner of the #CageChallenge!
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They Might Be Giants - Boss of Me
It’s a Disney special this week, as we argue about the live action Cinderall vs the live action Beauty and the Beast! We also discuss sports video games, Metallica, whether geese can drive or not, and come up with an amazing amount of ideas for new Disney and Star Wars films. Enough that Disney will be sending us a cheque soon.
Unfortunately there’s a crackle on Rob’s audio that starts about 40 minutes in that can’t be edited out. Sorry about that. We’ll be back to normal next week.
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The time has come to honour our spiritual king, Nicolas Cage! As well as discussing the boring and droopy Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, we also discuss some current films including Black Panther, The Shape of Water, Tomb Raider and Paddington 2, and give Liam Neeson a telling off. But most importantly, this episode sees the launch of the #CageChallenge! Head on over to http://twitter.com/bigboysdontpod to find out how you can get involved and compete for the ultimate Big Boys Don’t Prize.
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Nicolas Cage is a talented Mandolin player
It’s time to weep, as we watched devastating speculative romance-drama Never Let Me Go this week, and cried some real tears. We also discuss how to soundcheck properly, gig etiquette, music festivals, good novels and spleens, and there’s follow-up on salty dog-man Winston Churchill.
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Don’t go wasting your emotion, listen to this podcast! With a lot of love for Pierce Brosnan, we talked about Mamma Mia! for this week’s episode. There’s also some Oscars chat, some Brexit chat as usual, and we discuss the British institution that is Take Me Out. This episode also contains a bumper crop of ideas for new films and jukebox musicals.
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Malcolm Tucker - Waste of Skin
If you don’t know this week’s film, you’re a greenhorn! It’s another sixties outing this week, as we watched the Audrey Hepburn & Cary Grant classic Charade. Paddy also comes down with the affliction of a curious inability to pronounce Alfred Hitchcock’s name, and we discuss stupid people’s smart people, Cloverfield, Tayto crisps and Dave Benson Philips’ inevitable entry into the House of Lords in the future.
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Tom Hanks - Dungeons & Dragons
We paid a visit to Yorkshire this week, or as it’s called in film, God’s Own Country! Last year’s excellent movie of the same name is discussed, along with sheep’s cheese, hedgehog crisps, marmite, and lots of other glorious crap your hosts were eating back in the 90s. We also declare that Winston Churchill was ‘tangy like a good Cheddar.’ There’s more poetry in that line than in the whole of Darkest Hour.
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On this episode we discuss the wedding film of the century, Table 19. But what happened on the other 18 tables? Listen in to find out! We also discuss hamsters, watching films on planes, gammon (as in middle-aged men), the Cleveland baseball team, Disney songs, TV shows about doctors, and how all fans are bad. Stop liking things. Stop it.
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It’s our 40th episode, and to celebrate, we’re giving the people what they want and discussing fan request Martha, Meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence (or The Very Thought of You). We also discuss TED Talks for mice, have a long chat about Pokémon, get philosophical about the future of storytelling, and pay tribute to Ursula Le Guin. The song at the end of the episode is the new single by our band, Palomino Club!
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What would you do if the world was going to end in 21 days? Hopefully not end up in a forced and boring romance! We discuss the 2012 slightly below-the-radar film Seeking a Friend for the End of the World in this episode, and we also argue about mumbling pixie dream boy Michael Cera, diss Damien Hirst, and make a plan to drive around insulting people we don’t like in the shadow of the apocalypse, starting with Jacob Rees-Mogg (aka Walter from the Beano). There’s also an all-important update on our musical adaptation of The Godfather.
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Charlie Brooker on 50 Cent’s Game
At long last, we’re getting down with Richard Linklater! In this episode we discuss his influential heavy-talking’ 1995 classic Before Sunrise, mostly focusing our talk on Ethan Hawke’s facial hair. We also make some futurist projections (listen in, Elon Musk) and make a new plan for the UK to get ahead in the Brexit negotiations: send in Vinnie Jones.
We know how much everyone loves Russell Brand and a made-up Dracula puppet musical, so we finally got around to discussing Forgetting Sarah Marshall! Also covered in this week are a lot of puns on Infinite Jest, the brilliance of Air Bud, censorship, laughing at death, flightless birds, and Radiohead vs Lana Del Rey.
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Don’t vomit, but this week’s episode is all about the excellent romantic comedy The Big Sick! As well as discussing how much we both enjoyed this film, we also talk about people playing themselves, public transport, the 1980s film Clue, and whether Rotten Tomatoes is the Brexit of film criticism.
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Ray Romano on the emptiness of success (ft. Marc Maron)
It’s the first episode of 2018, so of course we discuss our resolutions and reflect on the jetpackless year ahead before delving into this week’s douchebag-fetishising film, Love and Other Drugs. We also spend a long time discussing 90s music (specifically 1997), take a break to give our own rendition of Reef’s classic song Place Your Hands, and finally catch up about The Disaster Artist. If you’re a Radiohead fan, Paddy apologises in advance for his opinions in this episode. He won’t apologise for stating the truth that the Macarena is a crime against music, though.
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Luke Evans in Wales Tourist Board advert
Billy Bragg - Way Over Yonder in the Minor Key
Weezer ft. Chamillionaire - Can’t Stop Partying
